Would you go?

June 29, 2005 at 10:45 pm 11 comments

A cousin of mine was offered an overseas posting to New York (the benefits and pay/compensation are quite lucrative actually) from his company as a financial analyst. He grabbed it almost immediately when he received the offer letter. He was kinda upset actually to not be able to study abroad during his undergrad years, so I guess this is his chance to experience living and working outside of Singapore. I got to know from him that several of his colleagues actually turned down the offers.

The reasons were varied, but most centered around their other-halves/family. One could not go because his wife did not want to quit her job here. Another was an only child, and he did not want to leave his parents alone in Singapore. Yet another had a homemaker wife with two young kids in tow (plus his mum was staying with him), and he felt the salary he would be getting would not pay for the entire family’s living expenses in the Big Apple. The last one faced resistance from her fiance, who feared they would spilt up if she remained in the US (and they apart) for too long.

My cousin is luckier – still single and with no girlfriend yet he has nothing to hold him back to Singapore. The only grouses were from my aunt, who feared he might bring back an ang-moh bor, and no chance to get to know the local (ie Singaporean) girls.

Then I remembered when I went back to Singapore last summer, I had my JC class gathering. I posed this question to several of my high-flying scholar (and non-scholar) ex-classmates if they would give up their careers to join their SOs (Significant Others) overseas. Most said “no”…

Would you?

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Military – Civilian doctors Your bulb no bright enough; Independence Day

11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. wah  |  June 30, 2005 at 6:51 am

    my maternal grandfather made my dad marry my mum before he left for Singapore 😀

    Reply
  • 2. tscd  |  June 30, 2005 at 10:09 am

    I am already here.

    Reply
  • 3. -ben  |  July 1, 2005 at 7:46 am

    “The only grouses were from my aunt, who feared he might bring back an ang-moh bor, and no chance to get to know the local (ie Singaporean) girls.”

    That comes across as racist and xenophobic.

    Reply
  • 4. takchek  |  July 1, 2005 at 9:58 am

    Unfortunately, her views are not atypical of her generation.

    Reply
  • 5. elyrie  |  July 1, 2005 at 3:26 pm

    I’m already overseas.
    However my boyfriend and I are on opposite ends of the country. I am not about to follow him there just because he’s there; I feel that we must come to each other on our own terms.
    If you’re afraid that geographical separation will cause the relationship to break up, I feel that probably means you don’t have much confidence in the relationship!

    ps: thanks for the bloglines tip. i’ll go check it out. i’m not blogging saavy, heh.

    Reply
  • 6. Unknown  |  July 1, 2005 at 10:33 pm

    I like what elyrie said about if you are worried about the relationship breaking up due to geographical location, then you better rethink why you’re with the other person. If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be. Go find your “one true love.”

    Back to your question, I would say, one form of love one can give is the love that gives and asks for nothing in return. Nothing is black and white, and you can throw in a few other setbacks, but what is your priorities?

    Personal success or success for the greater cause (i.e., you and your other half together).

    Reply
  • 7. Heavenly Sword  |  July 2, 2005 at 9:00 am

    If parents still not so old, I would go…If parents old already, I will try not to go…. Loneliness at old age is a torture, I think…

    Reply
  • 8. kellykelly  |  July 4, 2005 at 1:51 am

    “If you’re afraid that geographical separation will cause the relationship to break up, I feel that probably means you don’t have much confidence in the relationship!”

    Well, that kinda depends on how long the geographical separation is innit? Different strokes for different folks I’m sure, but if it’s a prolonged (>1 yr for e.g.) and indefinite situation (not sure when the next time you’d be together other than short vacations), then there must be some commitment on either side to be together at some definite point. Because, in my opinion and situation, a relationship is about being together, sharing a life together and sharing moments together. That whole thing about ‘testing’ how strong a relationship is if it can ‘withstand’ distance…hmmm…dunno about that…am sure it works for many…but the true ‘test’ is whether you can live a life -together-.

    Reply
  • 9. kellykelly  |  July 4, 2005 at 1:51 am

    oh and about the original question: “helllll yeah I’d move! no question”

    Reply
  • 10. Anonymous  |  July 4, 2005 at 2:38 am

    I’m also in a predicament. i’m bound overseas after NS. but there are more than a dozen of things that are holding me back. wells, i guess it’s really a decision to make. and i think it’ll be harder if i’m attached. thats probably one of the reason why i didn’t want to start a relationship.

    Reply
  • 11. elyrie  |  July 5, 2005 at 2:06 pm

    I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for over 2 years and am looking at another 4 years more before we can even be in the same city, if even. I guess I am lucky enough to find someone who thinks the same way I do – that while (physical)relationships are important, we also value the intellectual and career growth of the other person and would not want any less than the best for him/her. We do have the rest of our lives to be together. 🙂

    On the other hand, I do see how some people just cannot be apart from each other. To each his own…although my comment about geographical separation was made by observing how some people are worried that the relationship will break up because he/she will meet someone else overseas…that implies a lack of trust in the other half and does not bode well for the relationship, imho!

    Reply

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